It’s just a bunch of shit, really!

Originally, loneliness never seemed like it was “part of the trade” or that it carried such a heavy burden; which, was in exchange for my decision to be an artist. There is actually, a fight inside me that is directed toward my confidence and my insecurities. I find myself alone in my room with objects that I have turned into tools, even me. Yet, loneliness is not quite about my isolation but more about my space confined. When I’m alone or when I’m with people, I need walls to bounce on.

I understand it’s a process. I’m alone and that it is something I can’t escape. Even with someone in my thoughts, someone I could love, I can’t escape it. The negative connotation to the fact is my fault. However, I believe love can’t be created or destroyed; that it’s energy harmonized by my own freedom to release. As much as I try, I need walls. Yet, it’s not about an object of my affection, a girl even, but to just bounce man. 

Joe Bates



These are my friends. They created a ‘zine. I have a piece in it.
[Love can cross countries to coasts.]




These are my friends. They created a ‘zine. I have a piece in it.

[Love can cross countries to coasts.]

Death (and life)

"I’m learning how to not take myself so seriously. That what I’m working, what I would like to work on, is not earth-strikingly important anymore. I am not earth-strinkingly important. So what am I saying? I am just clearing the decks for a simple death. You’re done with your work. You are done with your life and your life was your work." -

Coffee and a cigg… Man. 



Soviet Red- ” For Margot “

what are we doing? where are we going? broken off. set back.

Jaysun Rickards aka Soviet Red gave me some personal insight…

this song is about hiding from the world and hiding from people and hiding from yourself. inspired by a very brief relationship with a girl who was beautiful and smart and talented but was paralyzingly self-consious and neurotic and married to her own misery. its about that state of disarray your mind reaches where you can’t even look someone in the eyes because your head just isn’t right, and you want to hide behind that big either hide away deeper and alienate yourself from everything, or you get your shit together and come back out into ‘show’.

MP3: Soviet Red - For Margot

Download Here

This is how it goes, beautiful.

Bunk Bed of Roses/Golden Years

Feathers falling all over the room

Sister starts it with her attitude

After laughter runs

Look what we have done

The oldest of three little kids

Runs in and shouts, “Pick up all of this!”

He’ll get back quick

From his double shift

You can’t hide beneath

Those cotton white sheets

When the board meets bone

Oh, I need my groans

All locked up in my own head

Wiggle like a worm instead

But then afterwards

When I sink in numb

There’s nothing left to cry about

Just wiggle like a worm around

Uh, Huh.. Uh, Huh…

Those golden years, Golden years to become from

When a girl hits home

A protection forms

Professional words to meet the trend

I wiggle around in my own skin

There’s an emptyness

After anger shifts

A programmed hope for my “Big Nothing”

I just wiggle around in my upbringing

  • This is a new song I wrote last week. Joe Bates

Slow Roll

I’m back to earth. I’m back to being my drunken self. I wake up hung-over and go to sleep high. Between this is where I’m most happy.

I never have enough money but I’m not motivated by it. I don’t seek for some life other than the one I have now. I’m making music, I’m writing stories, I’m drawing doodles, I’m expressing myself honestly, I’m destroying my body. It’s all about the moment when the canvas becomes consumed by the fire, where it shines so bright giving it a new color before it turns to ash. That’s all I want.

Instead, I’ve been repainting my canvas white. With every piece of art that I’ve become, I hold the weight of the last layer. I’ll never go back to it but I carry it around. I really want to just burn it down.

Joe Bates ( vs colour ) - the truth behind blah blah blah (by cjlrbfmt)


I keep trying! - I keep trying to stay cute,

Stay cute! - while I hate the sound of my voice.

Hate your sound - Love me. Now

of voice! - loose meaning.

Have an aesthetic nature! - The reference is turning,

It’s important for - the battle of

the blank canves to - the last few lines.

be shit on. - Why look back?

REFLECT! Now I’m stuck.